The power of Yes or No

I was chatting with a new friend who, like me, is grappling with a potential mid-life career change. She is currently in sales and is considering fundraising, I am thinking of moving from international development to nursing. There are always so many things to consider when you’re thinking of a major life change such as career: How much money can I make in this new industry? Will I have to start over as an entry-level worker at age 39, or 56 for her? Will I need more education/additional schooling? Can I continue to live the lifestyle I’ve crafted? Do I even want this lifestyle anymore?

So. many. questions.

But she shared a technique that her coach tried out this past week. She was asked questions and all she could answer was Yes or No. Without the “yes, but what about…” or “no, and what if….”. Just Yes or No. 

So her coach asked…”Do you want to work in sales?” “No” “Do you want to try something new for work?” “Yes”. My friend admitted that she tried to sneak in a “Yes, but I’d have to…” But her coach shut that down. No qualifiers. Just clarity.

I did this exercise myself on my drive home today. “Do I want to work in my current industry? “No” Do I want to try something new” “Yes”. “Am I excited about nursing” “Yes”. 

How often do we talk ourselves in circles about decisions and never make any changes because we can always qualify our decisions with uncertainty? And I understand that there are actually realities to grapple with, responsibilities and other factors. But the clarity of Yes or No is powerful. Try it out for yourself.